I write (sometimes) about how childhood affects adult relationships, and politics. Mostly I just read. Student of psychology, astrology, and life.

All my articles are in one easy-to-shop place now.

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I also have a website with a message board … images from there.

Articles are grouped by subject and easier to find than hunting them up here.

The married guy I loved and let go.

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Photo by Sven Brandsma on Unsplash

People often wonder how I could split from my family.

My brother has bawled me out over this more than once.

I get it, I totally get it. From their point of view, you only make a mentally ill mother worse by running out on her. And I can see that — I can.

But, at some point, you have to consider your own needs.

I really didn’t have a family at all.

I started to understand this when I got brave enough to explain my real feelings about a career I felt stuck in. …

We’re really all in the same boat.

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Photo by Ashwini Chaudhary on Unsplash

How many times have I heard it?

“We shouldn’t pay people who do unskilled jobs enough to live on.”

I haven’t heard many liberals make this case. Mostly this is a conservative viewpoint, and the arguments for it are few and repetitive.

“It’s just grunt work. It isn’t fair to people who work to ‘better themselves’ if somebody just doing a grunt work job makes as much as they do. These people are just too lazy to ‘better’ themselves!”

(An aside: How, exactly, do we define “better?” Another common way American society defines “better” is by body size, shape, and weight. Those of us larger than a single digit size are commonly considered ‘too lazy’ to train and starve and beat our bodies back to an acceptable size. …

They’re just confused about why.

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Photo by History in HD on Unsplash

Thanks to a couple of thoughtful articles on Medium, I have now finally understood why it is that “born-again” Christians are calling Trump “Biblical” and laying hands on him, sure that “God anointed him to be president.” (And I’m quite thankful for the great articles and writers on here, because this was one question that has had me stumped for quite some time.)

Basically, what they’re saying is that, even though Trump says a lot of idiotic things on the world stage, even though he’s clearly a narcissist, even though he implies that neo-Nazis are “decent people,” and even though he “grabs ’em by the pussy,” what he’s doing is trying to enforce a world order that “born-again” Christians think is the way God is telling them the world should be.

Chapter One: Sliding Doors

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Photo by Brian McGowan on Unsplash

“Are you going to kill me?” came the Chancellor’s voice. Anakin stared at the back of his head.

His lightsaber quivered inches from the nape of Palpatine’s neck. They circled each other warily in the wide corridor between the Chancellor’s small private gray office and his grand public one, done in shades of red. No, the Sith lord’s offices, Anakin thought, feeling sick to his stomach.

What am I going to do?

A thousand thoughts overwhelmed him. If Palpatine were Darth Sidious, and Count Dooku was his apprentice, then — then — the war -

Anakin saw it all, hundreds of Jedi dead, thousands of people killed. The destruction on Kashyyk, the suffering on so many Outer Rim worlds, the deaths of so many right here on Coruscant, only days ago. It all poured over him in seconds. …

Chapter Three

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Photo by camilo jimenez on Unsplash

The ninety-minute drive down tree-lined I-64 and through the heart of Hampton always affected John like a time warp. He still imagined the serpentine stop-and-go service lanes choking East Mercury’s shopping thoroughfare on either side, instead of the wide, modern eight-lane highway where he took the off ramp from I-64.

At the far eastern end of the city, the pace of change had slowed. Parts of Mallory Street, I-64, and Mercury Boulevard, still concrete as they stretched toward the Chesapeake Bay — the same as in the 1960's — made cars bump along, their tires going clack-a-clack over the seams in the road as if they rode over railroad tracks. …

Chapter Three

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Photo by Bermix Studio on Unsplash

Ridley spun and shot. A glowing blue bolt from the other guard’s pistol blazed over her head. A ceiling light sputtered and threw sparks, then went out.

The guard took a halting step forward. His mouth opened in a jagged square. His hand clasped a singed, bleeding hole in his breast. He staggered forward and collapsed on the carpet. A puddle of red expanded under the body.

Ridley’s nerves jangled. Her arms and legs quivered as if she were chilled to the bone.

Devane stared down at the body. His silver brows twitched once as if to transmit to Ridley that nothing she could do could frighten him, but she saw the blood leave his face, and she knew she had the upper hand. …

It’s the hardest healing there is.

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Photo by Dino Reichmuth on Unsplash

In the 1930s and 1940s, pioneering psychoanalyst Karen Horney founded feminist psychology in reaction to the teachings of Sigmund Freud. She taught that the neurotic drive for success, far from having anything to do with repressed sexual urges in childhood, has a lot more to do with our relationships with our parents and the quality of love we received from them as children.

“The energies driving toward self-realization,” Horney wrote, when our parents are too preoccupied with their own needs to notice who we are, “are shifted to the aim of actualizing the idealized self….

“The individual wants to — or, rather, is driven to — express himself. And this now means that he wants to express his idealized self, to prove it in action. It infiltrates his aspirations, his goals, his conduct of life, and his relations to others. For this reason, self-idealization inevitably grows into a more comprehensive drive which I suggest calling by a name appropriate to its nature and its dimensions: the search for glory. Self-idealization remains its nuclear part. The other elements in it, all of them always present, though in varying degrees of strength and awareness in each individual case, are the need for perfection, neurotic ambition, and the need for a vindictive triumph. …

The latest from Virginia’s State Public Health Veterinarian

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Photo by Jae Park on Unsplash

I don’t often write about veterinary matters, but, yes, veterinary medicine is my day job. I know of six practices so far in my area that have either had to shut down from covid, or have been running with reduced staff due to covid exposure. I know people are tired of curbside service, but clearly that’s safest for the time being.

So I woke up this morning, and received this notice in my inbox:

A person who tested positive for covid on December 5th noticed their four-year-old cat not eating two days later. The cat became lethargic after that and entered respiratory distress within a week. Because his respiratory distress become so severe, the cat was euthanized. …

Hi! I hope everyone’s recovered from the holidays and the election madness … sort of. I hope you’re staying safe from Covid-19. We’ve had one exposure in our workplace, but we were lucky. No one else got sick.

I know our inboxes are loaded with mail, so I’m going to try to keep these short. For now, I’m just going to put three stories in each one.

Because Covid-19 has been on my mind …

When Covid Shows Up In The Workplace | by A. Nonymous | ILLUMINATION | Dec, 2020 | Medium

Because all our journeys are about healing…

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