Sign in

I write about infidelity and how childhood affects adult relationships. Student of psychology, astrology, and life. Top writer in Infidelity.

My non-affair articles are in one easy-to-shop place now.

Articles are grouped by subject and easier to find than hunting them up here.

The married guy I loved and let go.

Photo by Sven Brandsma on Unsplash

People often wonder how I could split from my family.

My brother has bawled me out over this more than once.

I get it, I totally get it. From their point of view, you only make a mentally ill mother worse by running out on her. And I can see that — I can.

But, at some point, you have to consider your own needs.

I really didn’t have a family at all.

I started to understand this when I got brave enough to explain my real feelings about a career I felt stuck in. …

We’re really all in the same boat.

Photo by Ashwini Chaudhary on Unsplash

How many times have I heard it?

“We shouldn’t pay people who do unskilled jobs enough to live on.”

I haven’t heard many liberals make this case. Mostly this is a conservative viewpoint, and the arguments for it are few and repetitive.

“It’s just grunt work. It isn’t fair to people who work to ‘better themselves’ if somebody just doing a grunt work job makes as much as they do. These people are just too lazy to ‘better’ themselves!”

(An aside: How, exactly, do we define “better?” Another common way American society defines “better” is by body size, shape, and…

They’re just confused about why.

Photo by History in HD on Unsplash

Thanks to a couple of thoughtful articles on Medium, I have now finally understood why it is that “born-again” Christians are calling Trump “Biblical” and laying hands on him, sure that “God anointed him to be president.” (And I’m quite thankful for the great articles and writers on here, because this was one question that has had me stumped for quite some time.)

Basically, what they’re saying is that, even though Trump says a lot of idiotic things on the world stage, even though he’s clearly a narcissist, even though he implies that neo-Nazis are “decent people,” and even though…

Is it the Pacific Crest Trail, or stick-up-the-ass morality?

Photo by Sins S on Unsplash

When the Cheryl Strayed book Wild: Lost and Found on the Pacific Crest Trail and the Reese Witherspoon movie were popular seven years ago, I meant to read the book and see the movie. But, I was in the middle of applying for Medicaid for two elderly relatives and shepherding them into nursing home residence, which they desperately needed. It was like trying to herd cats.

Other things, in short, took precedence.

The recent interviews Witherspoon gave about the film reminded me I’d missed it. I rented it and found myself so engrossed, I bought the book. …

Did you do this after your last significant breakup?

Photo by Raychan on Unsplash

In mulling over my last relationship, I’ve become a big fan of therapist Daphne Rose Kingma, whose Coming Apart: How to Heal Your Broken Heart may just be my new Bible.

Kingma presents a scenario I’d never heard of: The “Postscript Relationship.”

If you keep dating the same person over and over again, the concept may be worth some thought. So many of us, sick to the gills of dating, want to quit in frustration, going, “They’re all like this! There are no more good ones!”

How many times have different partners treated you the same way? It may just…

What to do about them and why.

Photo by Jakob Rosen on Unsplash

Unless a cheater is a really hardcore case — addicted to porn, alcohol, or drugs, too narcissistic to reflect on the feelings of others, or maybe just a full-blown psychopath — most affairs happen to spare people’s feelings, not to destroy them.

That’s really tough to get your mind around once you discover your spouse has been unfaithful, but most of the time, it’s the truth.

I’m talking about the guy who knows his wife’s made an effort to improve their sex life, but still it isn’t working for him. …

Seven ways you can tell.

Photo by Natasha Brazil on Unsplash

Since I’ve published Let’s Get One Thing Straight: I Am Not A Homewrecker, a lot of folks have come forward to let me know my affair partner was probably lying to me. Most of these people are wives who were formerly cheated on.

This has prompted a lot of thought for me. I am not an idiot; having read a pile of books on marriage and relationships years prior to getting myself into this three-party situation, I was aware of the scenario where the guy goes home and enjoys his wife, lies about it to his mistress, and then…

A. Nonymous

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store